Life Advice: What can people start doing now that will help them a lot in about five years?

Life Advice: What can people start doing now that will help them a lot in about five to ten years? by @deepakpshukla1

Answer by Deepak Shukla:

This is how you can change your life in 3-6 months of self learning aggressively.

And then for the rest of your life casually. (All from personal experience)

On relationships:

• Read
• • Men are from Mars, Women are From Venus
  • The five love languages
  • Why Men Don't Listen and Women Can't Read Maps
  • These alone will save you around 2 years of problems
• Listen more, with your mind. She'll notice
• Appreciate they way she is – and show her you do
• Little gestures of love (e.g. buying her her favourite chocolate bar and leave it under the pillow after a hard day at work) are far more romantic than overblown/romantic cliches/gestures
• Compliment her – in front of other people. It's an amazing feeling for her
• Look at her when she isn't watching. She will feel it
• Document her favourite things, quirks, what she mentions she likes, ANYTHING positive. Create calendar reminders every 2-4 weeks to randomly surprise her on the basis of what she said. This is an ongoing list.

On sex

• Make sex varied, not perfunctory
• Pleasure her first. Not the other way around
• Read 'She Comes First'. Will pay you back forever
• Sex isn't missionary position as hard as you can. Break that mindset

On cooking:

• Ask your mum to show your how to cook your favourite meal.
• • Then her favourite meal
• Cook this for your girlfriend
• Try follow a recipe. Use Hello Fresh if you want to make it easy to begin with
• Borrow the cooking expertise of friends that cook – learn how to cook their favourite meals
• Learn from your girlfriend
• Cooking well will pay you back forever when you cook for  friends, the woman you date, and the woman you'll love

On your career:

• Read:
• • How to Think Like a CEO
  • How to Win Friends and Influence People
  • Lynchpin
• Learn:
• • Excel v. well (VBA lookup/Index/Match/3D Sum/$/&/etc
  • Powerpoint v. well
  • Word v. well
  • • They will all ALWAYS pay you back and advance your career
• Form allegiances with rising stars, networking masters and some senior folk
• • One day you'll need it
• Learn from those that have excelled
• • Observe, Learn, Integrate, Apply, Surpass him/her
• Work is 60% about doing the work well and 40% playing the politics game
• • Do both to the best of your ability
• Document your wins
• • When it comes to salary review/appraisals/job offers you'll be happy you did this

For some resume advice you can check this out.

On startup:

• Read
• • The Four Hour Work Week
  • The Personal MBA
  • Rich Dad Poor Dad
  • Lean Startup
• Execution matters more
• • There are words, deeds, and then there is action
• Build the startup as much as can ALONE
• • Then find the team. What you've already built will improve the stock of people that want to work with you
• Focus on sales/pre-sales i.e. validation
• • Everything else is fluff. This is the acid test

For more thoughts on this see here.

On health

• HIT it
• • High intensity training (140-180 HR) is the only one worth doing
  • You'll speed up your metabolism, burn fat quicker, get leaner stronger healthier
• Do it
• • Start small if you have to. But you never need to do much more than even 15 minutes a day to see results
• If it isn't hurting. It isn't working
• • If you're aren't wheezing/heaving/barely breathing. It's not effective
• Need motivation?
• • Eat in front of the mirror. Naked

On personal growth

• Read
• • The God Delusion
  • A Short History of Nearly Everything
  • Freakonomics
  • Pick some diverse topics that you like. Read them
• Spend time around interesting people
• • Dancers, actors, musicians, business owners, sportsmen. But people with a clearly defined PASSION
  • You will learn so much from them
• Learn a language
• • When you can
  • You can combine one of the above with this
  • • e.g. get a foreign girlfriend (is how I did it)
• Make time to travel
• • The world is beautiful you'll learn so much
  • You'll also be forced to talk to strangers
  • You can combine this with other goals
  • • e.g. I only run marathons in new cities or countries. So far 18 different cities in 10 countries

On happiness

• Make time for people you love
• • Friends, family etc
• Laugh. More. It's an amazing medicine
• Follow the health section. It cures so so many bad things (depression, anxiety, body image issues etc)
• Give back
• • Help a family member, donate to a charity that means something to you, volunteer
  • • Whatever it is – it has to be meaningful to you

Overall

• There is only 'f*ck yes' or 'hell no'
• • Either do things with commitment or leave it for later or leave it altogether
• Be reliable
• • To yourself. And then to others
• Find what you love and the 'working hard' will come with it
• • And whilst you're finding it. Work hard anyway
• No matter how sh*t your life is or difficult
• • e.g. You're blind. Have no legs. Are quadriplegic. Remember – there are no excuses.

This life. It's on you.

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Last thoughts

Well actually I have more of them. I've had the fortune of living an unusual life so far. To find out more see here.

Life Advice: What can people start doing now that will help them a lot in about five years?